


On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

by orphan_account



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: M/M, a bunch of shitheads watch Mean Girls, except Chris he is pure, the elders are assholes, this is mostly about Chris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 06:50:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5575517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kevin is Regina George now and it's all Chris' fault</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry

Elder Chris Thomas was determined to find a good flick for movie night. It was his turn to supply the entertainment and he wasn't going to let his friends down. All of the Elders and half of the village were counting on him. The pressure was on to top the last movie night when Elder Neeley found a James Bond movie.

The market stall that usually carried movies was empty today and Chris felt his heart rate quicken. He rushed over to the wooden counter and stood on his tiptoes to peek into the back. Chris sighed and turned around in defeat.

"Oh hello! Elder Poptarts!" An excited, lilted voice exclaimed.

Chris looked around and spotted Gotswana approaching him. "Hey Doc."

"What's the matter?" The older man asked.

"It's my job to get the movie for tonight but the stall is empty for some reason."

"Oh! You can borrow one of my movies!"

Chris perked up and he felt a tinge of hope. "That would be awesome!"

Gotswana led the missionary to his hut in the village and beamed proudly as he presented his shelf of movies. Chris sat down on the wooden floor and read the titles. "Love Actually, The Notebook, Casablanca, Titanic, Gone With the Wind, and Full House Season One." Chris read aloud. Gotswana certainly didn't look like his taste in movies and the other Elders would tease Chris for days if he brought back one of these films.

"I have one other!" Gotswana exclaimed, he bounded into another room and returned with a hot pink plastic movie box. Chris took it and read the title. "Mean Girls? I guess this is good, thanks." Chris said. "I'll see you later."

Back at the mission hut, Chris told his friends that tonight's movie was a surprise. He wanted to postpone his public humiliation for as long as possible.

Finally it was judgement day and the villagers and Elders squeezed onto couches and sat on blankets on the floor as Chris slipped in the VHS. The Paramount Pictures logo showed up on the screen as the stars began to circle the little mountain. Chris squeezed his eyes shut and sat down next to Nabalungi.

"This is your lunch okay? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk."

Kevin Price looked over from his spot in Elder McKinley's lap and raised his eyebrows at Chris. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Probably not." Chris said, clenching his jaw. The intro continued and there were no more remarks, until the actual movie started.

"I'm a new student here, my name is Cady Heron."

Elder Price shot up and slapped Chris' lap. "Yes it is! I knew it!"

Chris groaned and pulled his knees up to his chest. "It's all I could find guys!" He whined loudly.

The other movie-goers shot Chris looks of amusement and confusion as the movie progressed and when it ended Elder Poptarts was the first one to leave the room.

The next morning, Chris woke up at six a.m. and put on his Mormon missionary regulated attire before walking into the kitchen. The first thing he noticed was that all the other elders seated at the table were wearing pink ties. Chris moved to sit in his usual seat, but Elder Church stretched his leg across the chair. "Elder Thomas you can't sit with us."

"What?"

The district leader, Elder Connor McKinley, straightened his tie dramatically. "I'm sorry Elder, but on Wednesdays we wear pink."

Suddenly Chris realized what was going on and he furrowed his brow angrily. "Alright guys, really hilarious." He huffed. "That's a good one, now give me my seat."

Elder Church didn't move his leg and he stared up at Chris innocently.

"Fine." Chris grumbled, stomping away.

Later that afternoon, one of Elder Price's charges came to the hut looking for him and Chris asked around to find Kevin.

"Have you guys seen Kevin? Kimbay is here to talk to him."

Elder Zelder gasped and fanned himself. "Oh Kevin Price is flawless."

The other missionaries caught onto the gag and continued with smug grins.

"He has two Fendi purses and a Lexus!"

Elder McKinley blushed but continued the joke. "I hear his hair is insured for ten thousand dollars."

"I hear he does car commercials, in Japan. The land of soy-sauce and Mothra!"

"His favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast."

Chris could feel his blood boiling but he let his cocky companions finish their moment like the good Mormon he was.

"One time, he met John Stamos on a plane and he said he was pretty."

"One time," Elder McKinley clasped his hands together dreamily. "I gave Hitler a blowjob in his dream. It was awesome!"

The missionaries all exploded into laughter, all except Chris who forced an awkward, strained smile onto his face.

Thankfully, Kevin strode into the room just then with Elder Cunningham on his heels. "Are you all talking about me again?" He said in a smug tone.

"Kimbay is looking for you." Chris choked out before locking himself in his room.

A few hours later, Elder McKinley walked into the room he shared with Chris.

"Hey Elder."

"Hi."

"I'm sorry about all the jokes, that wasn't very fetch of us."

Chris decided that if you couldn't beat em, join em, so he sat up and glared at his mission companion. "Stop trying to make fetch happen Connor, it's never going to happen."

Connor looked pleasantly surprised and he gave Chris a wink. "Touché Elder Poptarts."

**Author's Note:**

> Like this? Want more gay musical mormons? Check out my other works and visit me on tumblr at @eriksfavoritecape


End file.
